Anger is a healthy emotion but it can become unhealthy if it affects your life or the lives of others. It can also be the most resistant to change. It can be come on suddenly and be unpredictable.
Anger is intertwined with many other criteria that define BPD: fears of abandonment, unstable interpersonal relationships, destructive impulsivity, suicidal behaviours and self-mutilation, mood instability and reality distortions are all accompanied by feelings of hostility.
To try and control your anger start by identifying the emotion your are feeling -
Is it anger? If so communicate with others around you how you're feeling (using Non-Violent Communication techniques possibly).
Let them know what is best to do, leave you alone for example. This sets healthy boundaries.
Sometimes fear or frustration can cause anger - so ask yourself "why am I angry?"
What is your anger like? How often do I get angry? How intense is it? How do I express it? How long does it last?
Use coping skills
They will reduce the intensity
Be an alternative to destructive behaviour
Reduce the chance of damaging relationships
Increase your control over your life
Write down different coping skills and put them into categories - here are examples:
Physical - walking
Spiritual - meditation
Emotional - listening to music
Intellectual - internet research
Other mechanisms for coping with anger:
Understand - Understand your emotions - As it is with everyone, intense anger is usually the outward expression of fear and pain.
Prepare - Though you cannot accurately predict the precise moment of an outburst of rage, you can prepare for it when it does happen – recognise the triggers and plan for it.
Communicate - Communication with others is a major factor in dealing with anger – this can take weeks of practice but be persistent.
Other techniques are also:
Identifying the source of your anger - what has irritated/triggered you?
Channeling the anger - use emotions to guide making things better for yourself
Think before reacting - breathe, think about the tone of your voice
Relaxation techniques - practicing these will calm you quicker over time
Change your thinking - replace negative thought with positive ones
Self-talk yourself out of anger - talking yourself down
Engage in Problem solving - focus on the problem and how to tackle it
Avoid becoming overwhelmed - solve issues as they come, so they don;t build up
Use effective communication - appropriate expression
Remove yourself from the situation - avoid things that trigger you before they happen
Take time out - remove yourself from the situation when it has happened
Keep a journal - diary of feelings, causes and responses
Eat and sleep well - your body need these to relax and replenish
Ask for support - friends/family could talk you down
Seek medical attention - if associated with anxiety you may need professional help