Non-violent communication was developed by Marsha Rosenberg an psychologist in 1960's.
Using non-violent communication helps us express our feelings and needs whilst also listening to others and respecting their needs and opinions.
This allows natural compassion between people to maintain a good relationship.
NVC uses two types of language with four areas -
Empathetically Listening
Honestly Expressing
Observation - facts about what you saw and heard
Feelings - how you felt "I felt...."
Needs - identify your need that was not met which created that feeling
Requests - what you would like to happen now/in the future
Example - "On Sunday when you walked past me you didn't say hello, I felt rejected because I had a need for you to notice that I was there and acknowledge me, next time I would like it if you could just say hello."
Make sure you are specific when using examples - when you did ...
Tell them how you really felt - I felt... (not you made me feel)
Say what you need or value, which causes your feelings - ... because I have a need for...
Be empathetic - I know you may have thought/felt...
State an action which is managable - in the future when that happens I would llike it if...
If you can't talk about it effectively at the time - would you be willing to talk about it properly at a set time which is good for both of us?
www.baynvc.org/educational_materials.php