The feeling of guilt is supposed to let us know when we have done something wrong. But this is not always the case.
Guilt prompts us to look at our behaviour and see how it affects others, so we don't make the same mistake twice. It also links in with morals and being mature adults.
However there are two different types of guilt -
Healthy and Unhealthy
Healthy guilt is rational and helpful. It tells us not to hurt ourselves or others and can make us grow and become better people.
Unhealthy guilt if often irrational and emotional. This happens when we feel guilty about behaviours that do not need to be changed. We all make mistakes.
Unhealthy guilt
How you feel about yourself - type of person you are, attitudes, what you've done
How others make you feel - being responsible for their feelings/behaviours, about things you do.
How to challenge negaive thoughts about guilt
Accept that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes because we are human
Recognise that a past mistake which made you feel guilty has now made you a better person
Move on, don't ruminate about the past
Don't blame, don't use 'should'
Would you expect someone else to feel guilty for the same thing
Forgive yourself and others - don't forget but remove resentment
A lot of guilt can come from others telling us we 'should' feel guilty. Many people who do this are trying to manipulate or control so probably aren't the greatest of friends.
Stop asking "what if?" - focus on now
Think about the positive health benefits of guilt inducing foods - dark chocolate is full of antioxidants, red wine is good for your cholesterol (in moderation of course), popcorn gives a good dose of fibre.
Talk to a relative or friend who was there when the incident you feel guilty about happened - our memories can be influenced by our guilt
Focus on the world around you - you are just one person and all you can do is your best
Fully experience the feeling
Ask yourself "why?" what purpose does this guilt service?
Think of ways to remove feelings of guilt
Prioritise these in order of importance
Plan when you can use them
Be realistic - it's not going to happen over night. Be gentle with yourself and don't give yourself a hard time for not achieving them all the time.
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